Day 5 Sossusvlei Dunes - Namib-Naukluft National Park

Day 5 Sossusvlei Dunes - Namib-Naukluft National Park
This is our earliest morning as we prepare for our hike up Dune 45 to marvel at the sunrise. After our hike, we will have the chance to visit Sossusvlei. Later, we join a local expert on a guided hike and learn more about the unique desert ecosystem and how the Bushmen survived in the harsh desert conditions.
Optional activity: Transfer into Deadvlei
Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

29th December 2013
Today was a really early start so we could get to Dune 45 to see the sunrise. Lisa and I got up around 4:10am emptied the tent and then packed the tent up in about 5 minutes. Everyone else decided that they would pack up their tents when they got back from Dune 45 and the Sossusvlei walks, I thought this would be a dumb idea as it would be at around lunch time, the hottest part of the day .

At 4:50 am there was a queue at the park entrance, we had a running start when the gates to the park opened and Zenzo gunned Marilyn passed all the slower vehicles and got us to the front in no time. As we drove the 60klm's we could see our competitors fall by the wayside. Then when we arrived at Dune 45 we began the climb, I can say that my fitness level helped as I powered past the herd, eventually I caught up with Juram and Annabell.

They had picked a spot so we marked our territory and waited for the team to arrive, eventually the baby gazelle arrived looking a little worse for wear but in her defence it was a tough climb up a great big sandy hill. We watched the sunrise but the best views and photo opportunities were looking away from the sun. The Dunes are a redish colour as a result of the oxidising process (rusting) of the iron, The flat ground inbetween the two sets of Dunes was once a river or sea, it would have been great to see when it had water in it.

When we came down a cooked breakfast awaited us, bacon and eggs good times. From there we had the walk to see the Deadvlei, this was one of my main reasons to want to see Namibia. It was amazing to see trees that have died over 900 years ago that are still standing, they are very eerie.

Next we headed to Sossussvlei, when we got there I asked the guide where we were suppose to go he pointed to the highest Dune around and said we needed to climb it and we would see the Sossusvlei. We looked at the size of the Dune and decided that given the temperature we would just head back to Marilyn.

We got back to camp and the rest of the campers had to pack up their tents whilst Lisa and I headed for the showers. I got my shower in but the water ran out and Lisa, Annabell and Iris started complaining, I had to laugh they were complaining about they had soaped up in the shower but there was no water... It sounds like a script from a great movie doesn't it.

Our final destination was a desert camp and I was wondering who and why you would live there, we got the answer to both soon enough.
When we arrived we had the option of putting up our tents or using the camp pool it was a really great pool, it was small but the water was warm I guessed about 28 degrees. Lisa and I spent the next few hours sitting in it chillaxing whilst some of the others put up their tents in the heat of the day, clearly they hadn't learnt from the day before.

The gent that owned and run the desert camp was Boesman, he was awesome he should have his own TV show. His stories were entertaining, educational and confronting at times, one of the entertaining stories was the one about the Ice plant, it opened with one drop of water. However the Ice plant doesn't release their seeds on the first rainfall it only releases on the second rainfall.

The educational stories is about the Gemsbok (the South African Orix), now it might like sound like I have an obsession with Chuck Norris but the Gemsbok is the Chuck Norris of Antelope, trust me this is true.  When the Gemsbok goes to drink the Zebras step aside and let the Gemsbok drink, the reason is that the Gemsbok doesn't false charge, when he charges he aims to kill. Legend has it that the Gemsbok will not move when anything approaches, it will wait until your within a couple of meters and then attack and kill with its razor sharp horns.

The confronting story was about what happened to the San / Bushman because the Westerners were afraid of them and didn't understand their culture they hunted the San / Bushman until 1918. Their heads were used for trohpys, womens breasts for tobacco holders etc...The San got the name Bushman from the Dutch settlers because they would either use bushes to sneak up on the Dutch or hide behind the bushes to attack the settlers. The San people also had no possessions so were true nomads who lived a simple life from day to day. They would leave the sick and weak behind if they couldn't keep up, brutal but necessary to survive. So it appears that I would survive easily.

Interesting things we learnt from Boesman.
1: The sand dunes, windside will only have an incline of 17 degrees and 35 degrees for opposite side.
2: If you want to survive in the dessert, have small groups, search through Jackal poo for a berry seed. (it tastes like a pumpkin seed)
3: Don't sleep under a lonely tree because it will have blood sucking ticks under it and they will drain your blood.
4: Some beetles have grooves on their exo-skeletons to channel water to their mouths.
5: Above the sand the temperature can be over 60 degrees a meter under the sand will be 25 degrees. (I knew that from watching the original TV series of Shaft)
5: Don't work in the heat of the day, conserve your energy. Only work during the cool of the morning or evening.

We then watched the Sunset over the Namibian landscape, that means that we watched a Namibian Sunrise and Sunset  all in one day. Spending time with Boesman was a highlight of this trip.

Jackal prints

Spotted Jackal

Dragons Spine

Really, couldn't come up with an African name

Chuck Norris under a Sociable Weaver Bird's Nest 

Sizing up the opposition 

Day 4 Namib-Naukluft National Park

Day 4 Namib-Naukluft National Park
We arrive at the Namib-Naukluft National Park and set up camp, then enjoy a short hike into the Sesriem Canyon. Tonight enjoy the star-studded sky and enduring silence of the Namib Desert, only occasionally interrupted by the call of a Jackal or, a rather unique lizard, the barking gecko!
Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

28th December 2013
Today was another long days drive, our main activity for the day was checking out the Sesriem Canyon. It was a short walk down to the Canyon floor and we then wandered around and got to see some baboons seeking shelter. The canyon occasionally gets rain but today was not the day for rain. Its an impressive thing to walk around a canyon but it's one of those things that you need to see and do for yourself. It wasn't a long walk and I think every one just wanted to get somewhere cool.

The Sesriem Campsite was probably the most desolate place I have ever seen, the campsite was sandy, windy and incredibly hot. The first thing that Lisa and I did was head for the pool, whilst I didn't really go in I did enjoy the cooling sensation of get my feet wet. The most bizarre sight was a family sitting by their vehicle and camp while the howling wind blew hot red sand over their campsite, their kids played in the dirt when their was a pool less than 10 meters away. Whilst Lisa and I were relaxing by the pool the other campers setup there tents, I'm reasonably confident that some of them regretted that decision. This proves I'm the smart one, conservation of energy is the key to surviving in the desert. When It cooled down Lisa and I setup our tent under a tree that also provided shelter from the howling wind, I couldn't believe the spot was still there.

When we finished putting up our tent an sorting out our gear we had a shower and headed to the bar to escape the wind. Whilst we were there we waiting for dinner we had a chat with Johanna, a Swedish Project Manager who apparently likes libraries. Johanna provided the quote of the day, the conservation went like this.

Johanna, " I really like reading and would like to read some Australian books, can you recommend one?"
Lisa, "what type of genre do you like to read?"
Johanna, "I like novels..."
Andrew, "really you like novels?"

Now in Johanna's defence English is not her first language, so I have to give her a break.

As a result Lisa has given me a nickname, Major Sarcasm. That way she gets to salute me from time to time (in a sarcastic way of course.)

At the dinner briefing Shingi suggested that we go out for dinner as a group at Swakopmund. I decided that if it was going to happen I needed to take control and ask If they had a place in mind and who wanted to go. Yes to a place and everyone wanted to do it so, it was a good result. Who's the man, I'm the man!!!

Later that evening (after dinner) Zenzo played a bonding game with us. We circled up and then had to remember everybodys name in the position we were sitting in. Johanna was the crash test dummy almost nailed it, my solution was the Australian way just call everyone mate. I think that it would have been better if there was a sculling game included.

Baboon in Canyon 

Day 3 Namibia – Gariep (Orange) River - Fish River Canyon

Day 3 Namibia – Gariep (Orange) River - Fish River Canyon
This morning there’s the chance to see the beautiful river valley by canoe or just relax at camp. After lunch we cross the border and travel to the Fish River Canyon. After a scenic walk along the edge of the canyon we enjoy our dinner while watching the sunset. This is also a fantastic photo opportunity. Optional Activities: Half-Day Canoe Adventure. Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

27th December 2013

As expected only 6 out 22 trekkers made the canoeing, the rest decided to stay around camp. I'm intrigued that after basically two days driving the vast majority of them would rather sit around a campsite then get out and enjoy what South Africa has to offer.

Now as you may know "everyday is different" and today was no exception, it started of with a drive in a vey old and beaten up Landrover Defender, the driver / owner (Adam) of the campsite was an unhappy camper, he only seemed to get happy after he blew a tyre. Both Lisa and I felt the tyre go as the Landrover slid sideways. Adam apologised for the inconvience and then got down to work changing the tyre, given the condition of all his tyres I'm surprised we only blew out one.

After that it was a short drive to the launch pad, it's unfortunate that litter is a problem here. Our German guide Maxie (on a gap year, spent most of his gap year drinking or paddling) gave the young German girls a lesson in paddling gave us the rules which was basically don't get in front of him. And with this we were off. Lisa & I had no problems, Annabella & Jurian were also fine, the German girls on the other hand took some time master the art of going forward, but let me say their circle work was extraordinary. If circle work in a canoe was an Olympic Sport they woud be Germany's first pick.

We were paddling down river so it was always going to be an easy morning's activity, we got to see this bizzare landscape from a different perspective than the previous days drive in Marilyn. Brown murky water, green river banks in places, sand or rocks as the river bank in other places. The green never extended very far from the rivers edge, 5 meters at most, then it turned into what I can only describe as a rocky moon scape.

Now I have confessed that I've become a twitcher (bird lover) and we got to see some King fishers in action from a distance, we couldn't get any photo's as we only took the video camera and Lisa's small waterproof one. The othe bird we saw alot of was what they called a snake bird, it's entire body is submerged and ony it's head and neck are visible from above the water, as a result it looks like a snake. Lisa spotted what we think was a vervet monkey in a tree, but alas we couldn't see its iridescent blue balls.

The rapids as they were described were shall we say a couple of rocks creating a ripple as the slow moving water passed over them. After the first "rapid" I decided I'd take our canoe down backwards, (yes Nakita, I'm still trying to redeem my lost manlyness) It made no difference.

Juram and Annabella decided to switch places in the canoe, which proved fatal to Juram's  sunglasses. Now there are two versions of this event, I'll let you decide which one you want to go with. The first version, Juram jumped into the water and after resurfacing did the hair toss, his sunglasses fell of  and he was unable to retrieve them...The alternative version is that as Annabella and Juram swapped seats a large man eating crocodile leapt up to grab Annabella, Juram bravely and selflessly flung himself in the line of fire. The croc snapped its huge jaws closed, ripping the sunglasses clean off, incredibly brave but I wouldn't have done it.The German girls by this stage had mastered going straight, but probably wouldn't get picked for any straight line canoeing teams.

Now I'm telling all of you this in the strictest confidence, so I need your assurance to keep this confidential!!! As we paddled our canoes our guide headed for the Namibian side of the river, as we all paid attention to the briefing we dutifully followed. We went into stealth mode and silently slide onto the sandy bank, we scanned the riverbank for diamond smugglers, border patrols and other illegal immigrants. (in that order) Unfortunately there were no diamond smugglers and fortunately no border patrols or illegal immigrants which helped make our illegal arrival a success. Fortunately for us we wern't seeking asylum in Australia as we were canoe people and would have been towed back if safe to do so...

From there we had an even more leisurely paddle back to base camp. When we returned we discovered that most of the campers just hung out at the campsite and generally not doing much. Christoph told me it was pretty hot at the camp, I suggested he might have wanted to come canoeing, its always cooler on the water.

We then had lunch, packed up the rest of the camp and headed for the Namibian border. After a short less frenetic drive than last night we arrived at the South African side, once again no problems quick and easy, except it would appear they don't want the Immigration staff to have a chat with anyone. There is a slot cut into the bullet proof glass just big enough to slip you passport through on the counter top, once the officer has stamped your passport she needs a pen to push it back through the slot because she couldn't reach it.

We drove across the Gariep River and onto the Namibian side, this part took about 2 hours. The Namibian Immigration Officers decided to change shifts upon our arrival, which left one guy processing about 200 peoples passports.

Next stop road house and a Wimpy store, I got another Strawberry milkshake. Captain Cranky pants who was slowly descending the ranks to Sargent got a sports drink, no where near as indulgent.
After another long and dusty drive we arrived at our campsite, setup our tents and then departed again for our sunset walk along a portion of the Fish River Canyon. (the second largest Canyon in the world) It appears that we have people who either don't listen or can't live without a drink. Zenzo told the group that he would drop us off and that he would meet us with Marilyn at the viewing platform so we could have a drink and watch the sunset, despite that we still had people insisting on carrying alcohol. One lady wanted to carry her 6 stubbies in a plastic shopping bag. The other thing I found amusing was the type of shoes worn, most people had what Zenzo described as dancing shoes...

At the main viewing point I walked into the shade structure, straight into the top of the noggin,the force of the impact shook the structure so much it was lucky to still remain upright. I have to say I was pretty unhappy there were no doctors onboard Marilyn, Ohhh the humanity!!! I dropped to my knees and asked "why lord, oh why have you forsaken me?". (I did let out an expletive, something about mothers) Lisa had a headache and therefore offered me no sympathy as the copious amounts of claret freely flowed down my forehead. And yes Nakita the trend of low roofs and doorways in South Africa continues just like in East Africa. (Lisa would just like to say that she was not there when the incident happened, but did in fact ask if there was a wound, and found out there was not!)

The view was impressive, but impossible to photograph as the sunlight was shining straight into the camera lens. Early morning would be a better time for photography, but we got some okay shots of the canyon and some interesting photos of these plants clinging to survival in this dry, hot and dusty landscape. One tree looked like a malnourished boab, another was a tiny little plant that had just sprouted as a result of the recent rains it looked like it probably was going to flower at any second. But the most impressive was the Chuck Norris of plants, the plant is called the Pencil bush or Rhino bush. (looks like pencils or alternatively Rhinos are the only animal immune to its powers) It didn't look like much, just a small clump of round green shoots a bit like spring onions but lots of them, taller and a lighter shade of green. The plant itself can apparently kill a person if you just look at it, but if you got too close and touched it then you were really in trouble you would be in excruciating pain followed by certain death. Thats according to Shingi, now if you don't know who Chuck Norris is, firstly shame on you, secondly google him and the ten facts about Chuck Norris!!! Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups!!! Chuck Norris pushes the Earth away!!!

Tidbit fact for the day is that 70% of Namibia is privately owned which seems surprising given the desert landscape. We drove past great stretches of fenced off land, mostly they seem to be ranches for keeping rocks.
The day also provided a great quote of the day, let me set the scene.

We are driving in basically a desert with nothing but the desolate moonscape stretching for Klm's and Klm's, on one patch of road Klm's from anywhere there was some mud on the dirt road. Iris (the retired Israeli lady who hurt her foot on the first day) asked where did the water come from...

In Namibia

Lovers Leap

Chuck Norris of Plants

Day 2 Namaqualand – Gariep (Orange) River

Day 2 Namaqualand – Gariep (Orange) River
An early start, we head north via the distant town of Springbok, best known for its diamonds, copper and spring flowers.  We then proceed to our camp located right beside the Namibian border. The camp is situated on the riverbank that forms the border between South Africa and Namibia.
Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

26th December 2013
Everything was still closed and it was just a long drive to our next campsite, for Lisa and me the scenery wasn't exciting as it was exactly the same as we would see on a country road in Australia, big wheat farms, wheat silos and gum trees. There was one difference, out here they have ostriches not kangaroos.

I've also given Lisa a new nickname, Captain Cranky Pantz. It came about because of Marilyn's seat rotation policy. Lisa really liked the back seats by the door and wasn't happy when we got the nod to move.

We stopped for water & ice at a place called Springbok, it's dry, it's desert and they had no ice in any shop. Water was also a problem as Lisa and I seemed to be the only people with water, but luckily for the group I found a shop that had lots of 5 litre bottles. The only hiccup came when one of the trekkers came down with a mysterious illness, apparently Danielle (Danny) could have contracted it before she left Israel. Danny is an American student living in Israel. Zenzo left us and took Marilyn to find a doctor, it took about 3 hours which we spent inside a Wimpy store using their free Wi-fi and drinking strawberry milkshakes, slightly boring but that's group adventure trekking. Lina Eva you know might thoughts.

From there it was onto the camp, on the way we saw the Namibian border crossing. If we had gone straight we would have crossed the border but alas we turned right to run parallel with the Gariep / Orange River (the one we saw at the Lesotho border crossing).
The road, if you can call it that was nothing but gravel corrugation for about 10 Klm's, it was one big long "whoops there it is".

The campsite its self was great, really well set out and we got some nice soft grass to set our tent up on, but we soon had all the other tents around us. I thought of you Esther because they were in for some sweet, sweet snoring music...

Now one difference between this group and our first trekking family is that when Shingi asked if any one was interested in canoeing there was only 4 takers Juram, Annabella, Lisa and me. Eventually Anja and Hildagard (Hille) the two young German girls decided to join us.

Cape Town To Victoria Falls

Day 1 South Africa – Cederberg Mountain Region
Leaving Cape Town we make our first stop at Table View and take photos of Table Mountain from across Table Bay. On the way to the Cederberg we visit !Khwa ttu where we enjoy a San guided tour and museum visit. After the tour, lunch will be prepared, after which we continue to our campsite in the Cederberg region. We arrive at our camp and your guides will give you a full briefing on the tour. Meals: Lunch, Dinner

25th December 2013

Up and off that was the plan, the plan worked reasonably well, we had breakfast jumped in the Park Inn Merc for a short ride to Nomads Cape Town office. There we meet Shingi and Zenzo and the rest of the campers. I was feeling a little bit strange about travelling with a new group of people, but as I once said to Forrest "lifes like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get". I now fully understand what Thomas was talking about when you jump on a new tour, I hear you Thomas...

At our departure briefing we were told our first included activity had been cancelled because they had gone on holiday. Which meant that our first day on tour was just a drive to the campsite with the obligatory toilet / coffee stops and one shopping stop. But given it was xmas day very little was open. We also got in a photo stop with a view back to Table Mountain, it looked clear with no wind.

The campsite was nice enough, grassy area for the tents and a big undercover area with an honour bar. (works on the honesty system, you take a drink you leave the owners the money) They had a nice pool and not surprisingly and assortment of big dog running around.

We had a demonstration of how to setup and pull down a tent which we skipped (I did check with Zenzo if it was okay for us to skip the demo first) as we had that sorted.
We met Annabella and Juran at the pool, they are recently graduated Biology students from Holland having an extended holiday.After Dinner Shingi gave a tour briefing which was very though, two things that will make some of you laugh was "the piling of heaps of food onto your plate" and the "roster will be posted on the door and you will be required to help on your allocated day". I know it made me laugh, at least on the inside.

Next we had the get to know you speeches, where everyone gets to tell a little bit about themselves. Mine was "I'm Andrew, I'm a pisces and I don't like long romantic walks on the beach and Lisa is my human shield"

We met Annabella and Juram at the pool, they are recently graduated Biology students from Holland having an extended holiday.After Dinner Shingi gave a tour briefing which was very though, two things that will make some of you laugh was "the piling of heaps of food onto your plate" and the "roster will be posted on the door and you will be required to help on your allocated day". I know it made me laugh, at least on the inside.

Next we had the get to know you speeches, where everyone gets to tell a little bit about themselves. Mine was "I'm Andrew, I'm a pisces and I don't like long romantic walks on the beach and Lisa is my human shield"

Robin Island

Cape Town = Windy

23rd December 2014

After yesterday's boat ride we were looking forward to a relaxing day on land - sort of. We had planned to abseil down Table Mountain at around 1pm, that was all we had planned.  We could sleep in at last, ohhh yeah. We got up around 8:30am, trust me in Africa that is sleeping in...As per the instructions from the Abseiling company we rang them in the morning, but unfortunately due to high winds the abseiling was cancelled, even the cable car was closed. They suggested we call again tomorrow and see if we can give it another go. Given that was our only organised activity for the day we decided to walk to the local Harley dealership, (it was always going to happen) they had some nice stuff and I saw a Rocker C with the stupid seat still attached and the original handlebars, "Why?" I ask "Lord why"?

From there we went and got a massage, I was offered a happy ending but strangely enough Lisa wasn't. I'm pretty sure the dude in the room next door took the optional activity package. The massage wasn't really to my liking, I wanted to feel the pain of a deep tissue massage, but alas she just couldn't inflict the same pain as my gay Singaporean masseuse. In short I left unsatisfied in two ways...

We also checked out sending back "our" purchases home instead of dragging them around Southern Africa, we got a quote and that was the new plan. after that we headed to the waterfront for some sight seeing and shopping.

The VA Waterfront is nice and proof that if you build it they will come, and come in droves they do. There are lots of merchandise shops cafe's and bars, there were entertainers singing and dancing, all in all it was a happening place. In the wellness centre I saw a stall which helped with lower back issues, but there was nobody about so we just went and got something to eat. The meal did include quote of the day, "my fish tastes very fishy"

24th December 2014
Today we had organised the Robben Island tour and it was a 9am departure from the VA Waterfront, we got a lift to the waterfront via the Park Inn's chauffeur driven Mercedes Benz. Ohh so nice, I want one and if it comes with a chauffeur even better.

Surprisingly enough, the ferry left early TIA (That Is Africa). The boat was an old tub which was packed to the rafters, it also was a diesel so the first spot we got had the fumes heading straight for us, so we moved up wind of the exhaust. It took about 45 minutes to get to Robben Island.

When we disembarked from the tub, we were told to get on a bus which would take us to the prison. The problem here was there were about 300 people and they were not going to all fit on two buses, the first bus was already bulging at the seams when I got there so I got on the second bus. The guide was none to pleased and began to make more people try and get on the first bus, eventually they gave up. When the second bus was bursting at the seams they asked the last 100 or so punters to walk to the prison, which turned out to be about 200 meters away.
The tour its self was over crowded and rushed, it was how we describe the Japanese tourist buses at home, running from point to point trying to get a photo whenever possible. Case in point, Nelson Mandela's cell we barely had time to look at it let alone take a photo. I was really disappointed with this part of the tour. Next we were rushed onto a bus and driven around the island, this turned out to be the highlight of the tour. The guide was great, entertaining, engaging, informative and he likes the pretty ladies. When the bus tour was over we got moved on really quickly, we wanted to look at the posters on the wharf but had zero time. For me I really wanted to spend time in the prison and also checking out the information around the wharf etc. The downside is that this was a significant site for South Africa and its people but the tour was really disappointing.

From there we headed for the VA Waterfront for lunch, we inadvertently picked the busiest restaurant in the universe, however I was pleasantly surprised at how good the service was. It was quick and efficient and the lady was really help full and nice.

After our meals I decided to get some treatment on my back as the previous days massage did nothing to help. David King claimed to be a man who used non invasive techniques to aid in the recovery of just about anything. As I was happy to give him ago I jumped on his table, he was a bit strange to say the least ( he would repeat things to himself out loud all the time). the pain / tightness in my calf's went almost straight away. for the first time in weeks I felt normal. Whilst laying face down on the table I heard Sonja and Jens voices,  I figured Lisa was chatting to them. After the adjustment I felt brand new,but Lisa ad I were in a hurry to get our shopping sent home, as it turns out we didn't need to rush, the shop closed a 1pm, Blood Xams eve.

We invited Sonjia and Jens to join us for dinner later at the rooftop restaurant. Sonjia and Jens joined us and it was a nice dinner, one of the topics we talked about was how strange it felt to be eating alone after eating with the family for 3 weeks. I think we all miss that.

Shark Dive

Cape Town - Shark Diving

22nd Of December 2013

Our hotel was a winner, nice comfortable bed great view of Table Mountain from the Roof Top Bar & Restaurant. The breakfast was nice, but we weren't going to be hanging around to savour it, we were getting picked up at 7:30am for the shark dive. It turned out to be a 3 hour drive to Gansbaai, on the way the driver picked up a French couple and an Indian guy. The French couple turned out to be crew for a French airline, but the really cool thing was the French guy looked like Chuck Norris and I really do mean he was the splitting image of Chuck Norris.

We had the obligatory toilet & coffee / tea stop half way, then when we arrived we had 2nd breakfast, coffee / tea and toilet. You never just drive past a toilet or a coffee stop in South Africa, you just don't know when the next one will be.

The usual boat they use was out of action, the term they used was "being serviced" we saw the boat, it was missing some bits the propeller being one of them. So the boat we got was a little smaller, but that was okay as it wasn't a large group.

The trip out to Shark Alley was reasonably quick as they were running 2 x 250 horse power Yamaha engines, they had some get up and go. The other good thing about outboards is that they are not diesel as if I was ever going to be sick diesel exhaust fumes would have done it.

Once we were tied up next to the cage our guide gave us the all clear to get suited up, the wetsuits were a 5mm full suit with hood. Now I have to confess that I like seeing ladies in figure hugging latex body suits, but these neoprene ones just don't do it for me. It's a bit like watching the "mamils" (Middle Aged Men in Lycra) unpleasant at best, down right disturbing most of the time. The cage was some type of metal, I think it was aluminium,with 8 sections. Each diver occupied a section which was determined by a metal bar above each shoulder, the bars were there to help you pull yourself up to the ready position. The cage was secured to the side of the boat but closer to the stern, you entered from the third pod and either made your way left or right, right was towards the back of the boat.

The crew chummed the water and the first eager group got in the water to squeals of "it's cold". It never ceases to amaze me the number of people that can't follow really simple instructions, for example when you got in the cage you had to do 3 things
1: Keep all body parts inside the orange ropes; pretty simple right, wrong...
2: Put you knees on the yellow bar in the cage (the ready position); also pretty simple, wrong again...
3: Keep as still as possible and get under water when told; again pretty simple, wrong again!!!

All these things were for either safety reasons (point 1) or not to scare the shark away (points 2 & 3) who would have thought sharks would be scared but there you go. As it turns out very few people could manage to follow the instructions, maybe it was the brain freeze effect.

Unfortunately three things were against us, it was summer and the water is cooler so the sharks are more docile in colder water (good to know) the other was the visibility was poor, about 2 meters at best, the last was the number of other boats offering "free meals".

Our first sighting at our boat "the Barracuda" was brief, the great white swam casually by only having a cursory look at the twin tuna head bait, eventually the first group got a great view as the shark swam really close by the back end of the cage.

When it was our turn I was the first in and let me say there was no squealing like a girl as parts of my suit filled with the icy cold water from the Southern Ocean, I know you lot don't believe me but its true. Its because, it's like when the human body goes into shock, you fee everything but at the same time are unable to cry out move or do anything use full. Lisa felt the same as she got in straight after me, now by my calculations "the human shield" is suppose to go first. I did get one photo of the occasion, it's the only one taken because "the human shield" was also the official  photographer for the day but she neglected that duty for reasons I will explain shortly. Our positions in the cage were the first two pods right at the back of the cage near the stern, "Chuck Norris's" girlfriend was to theft of Lisa and then "Chuck Norris" himself.

After what seemed an eternity a great white cruised by unfortunately we didn't see much from the under water perspective, in fact I'm sure we only had one sighting each. Lisa's was under the cage, mine was swimming from the back of the cage to front.

The guide who was throwing the tuna heads in asked me several times if we saw anything, which for the most we didn't, but as it turns out I did film one Great White swimming past but I didn't know until I looked at the film.

As time went on we just got colder and colder, both Lisa and I started shivering, Lisa more than me. I needed to pee but was so cold I couldn't for a incredibly long time, eventually my wetsuit warmed up... for what I understand so did Lisa's. Having said that it didn't help, I'm sure you've all had a brain freeze from some ice cream or icy cold drink, it was like this in the water but a whole body freeze.

The head guide asked us if we wanted to get out, hell yes if I can get any portion of my body to function was my thought. As the punters started getting out, "Chuck Chunder of the space patrol" arrived now Chuck will tell you she got it on her, however she was facing me, the current was going my way, I got chucked up on...Now I'm not really known for my compassion or sympathy to the sick, injured or dying. (culling the herd / natural selection I say) But on this occasion I was that guy, in a nutshell I was Grant for a very, very brief moment in time.  There was no need to hold Chucks hair out of the way the hood did that. Now It could be argued that Chuck was blocking my exit strategy (which was true) but I could have trampled / climbed over her if I really wanted too. Like a true gentleman I took Lisa's weight belt and helped her out from inside the cage, like I've always said once you can fake sincerity, compassion and concern you've got it made.

This was the main reason for the lack of our photos, toughen up princess, that's what I say. We did get some good video from the deck so that was good. Chuck had a chumming session from the wrong side of the boat and once again I did a Grant...

The funniest thing that happened was there was a guy who didn't go in  the cage but spent the entire day filling a plastic shopping bag, he was told several times to go on the deck get fresh air, look at the horizon but alas he chose to sit in the cabin and continue filling the shopping bag. I was concerned, not for him but for my gear as he sat next to our stuff.

We were asked if we wanted to go back in, it was a "NO" from Chuck and a yes from me, (anything to get away from Chuck) but Chuck Norris beat me to the cage and lets face it if Chuck Norris wants in who am I to stand in his way. Whilst I watched Chuck Norris climb down into the cage I stood next to the Luckiest girl in the world... Chuck Norris's girlfriend, we watched in awe as the water trembled in fear of Chuck Norris. Now some people could speculate that Chuck Norris was shivering, but I'm not one of them...After watching Chuck Norris make the water tremble I decided not to go for another cage dive, I would have died from hypothermia.

After the dive we headed back for soup and a hot shower, then a long drive back to the hotel, I have to say I missed the drive I slept pretty much the whole way. Lets face it you can sleep when you feel safe and I felt safe because Chuck Norris was there.

My observations of shark cage diving is that its a bit like deep sea fishing, lots of standing around waiting for something to happen, chumming of the water, the fishing lines are replaced by the tuna heads on rope and finally more standing around waiting for something to happen, but when something does happen there is a huge flurry of activity. Also you have a greater chance of dying from hypothermia then from a shark attack in a cage dive, even if you can't follow instructions.  Take sea sick tablets, lots of them, if you're prone to sea sickness. Having said that I think it was worth the effort, I'd do it again in a heart beat on the proviso it was in winter, just to see the sharks when they are more active and when the water is warmer...

Cape Town - Nomad

Day 20 Cape Town
After a leisurely breakfast, we visit the Cheetah Breeding Project to meet these beautiful animals up close. Afterwards, we head to the Spier Wine Estate to taste some of South Africa’s finest wines and finally, the tour ends in Cape Town.
Meals: Breakfast

21st of December 2013
This morning I borrowed the luggage trolley, it turns out we have collected a heap of stuff, on the way back with the trolley the porter came towards me looking slightly relieved, he'd found his trolley. He was also amused to see a guest pushing the trolley around. The boys (Michael & Thomas) tried to tip me, but I rejected the offer, 10 Rand each please I'm worth at least 20 Rand each.

After breakfast we jumped into Otis and headed for Table Mountain  there was a little "table cloth" of cloud covering the mountain but nothing too serious, during the drive "The Doctor" / Sun God (Lina) suggested we go out for dinner at Mumma Africa's. Table Mountain was impressive, and they have the whole tourism thing down pat. The cable cars are made by a Swiss company, when you want safety think of the Swiss. We got to see where we were going to to the abseiling from, I was pumped at the prospect of abseiling, but a little sad at the tour ending and to make it worse I'd got me a sinus infection and some hayfever.

When we were done on the mountain we had our last family photo including Otis and some speeches from Owen, Rimson and a very nice speech by Michael on behalf of the group. With that we headed down the mountain and said some teary farewells again. Owen & Rimson were headed for JoBurg late that day and Mika was headed for Namibia that night which left the family of trekkers  to have dinner as a family one last time. More goodbyes, more dust in peoples eyes, it's surprising how close total strangers can become in such a short period of time.

We'll miss you all...

Stellenbosch

Day 19 Stellenbosch Wine Route

We take a scenic drive to Stellenbosch taking in some of Route 62 and a possible stop at Ronnie’s Sex Shop, not a sex shop at all, but a rather interesting country pub…  We will have the opportunity to explore Stellenbosch which forms the heart of the Western Cape’s wine region and second oldest European settlement in the Western Cape. As this is the last night on tour we head to a local restaurant for dinner. Optional Activity: Ostrich Farm Visit, Dinner Out.Meals: Breakfast, Lunch

20th December 2013

Today is "another day, every day is different" and the amended plan was to visit the Cheetah park and one of the wineries, but on the way two things happened. Mika lost her SD card with her work and photos on it and Rimson lost his USB Stick with all his music. They tried calling the campsite to see if they could find them but all to no avail.   The other thing that happened was Owen pulled into Ronnies Sex Shop, apparently it's a bit of an institution in this part of South Africa, it's basically a coffee shop, Curio shop, bar and cafe attached. The closest you get to any sex there is used bras hanging from the ceiling. The coffee / toilet stop took awhile as the coffee machine was not turned on when we got there which is never good when there are lots of us cappachino drinkers.

It was a long scenic drive into Stellenbosch, which included our first sighting of Cape Town and Table Mountain. We pulled into the Cheetah Park and unfortunately for our guides we had seen an almost identical presentation from the other cheetah parks we had visited, the other problem was it was the middle of the day so all the animals were off sleeping and seeking shade. The highlight was getting to pat the cheetah cubs, just like patting a family cat but better, much, much better. Lisa was patting one cub when it decided to rollover, you should have seen Lisa hit reverse, but the really funny thing was it was asleep so there was absolutely no danger. (Hey - I only did what the handler told me! I would have rubbed her tummy if they let me. She rolled over and curled up, then stretched her hind feet out just like any kitten.) Bet she's not laughing at my life and death cheetah experience now.

Next was the winery, given Lisa and I don't drink wine we found a comfy spot on the lawn and relaxed for a couple of hours. The good news is Eva, Esther, Thomas & Michael had a really good time during the tasting.

When we got to the hotel, we were all happy it was another fantastic hotel, it was part of the same chain of hotels that we got the upgrade at. Some folks went to the pool and some sat in the spa, (for too long, yes you Esther) me I needed a nap, I am old after all. We had our last family dinner at the hotel it was nice that we were all together one last time.

Oudtshoorn

Day 18 Oudtshoorn
Today we travel through the magnificent Outeniqua Mountains towards Oudtshoorn where we visit the world-famous Cango Caves.  The caves contain spectacular halls and grand limestone formations, and a local guide will tell you all about the cave system, which extends for over 4km. Meals: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

19th December 2013
We made our way to the Cango Caves, they are sensational, well worth the visit, they really do have the whole tourism concept nailed. There were two groups the standard one and the adventure one, both initially see the same things then the adventure group goes further and also does some crawling through some confined spaces. They call one section the letterbox as it's apparently the size of one, we did the standard tour. In the first chamber our guide explained how the first white explorer came down and the brightness of his oil lamp, she then gave us the visual demonstration by switching off the lights. I yelled out "Stop it", most people in our group knew it was me...I had discussed setting up Thomas with Eva earlier, the plan was to do a loud fart next to him and blame Thomas. It was all Eva's idea...

It's hard to describe but they had two large chambers the first had an impressive column that had joined, the stalagmites from the bottom and the stalactites from the top. just around the corner was the cathedral, also impressive. Needless to say there were plenty of stalactites & stalactites to look at.

Once the tour was done we headed out for lunch, Rimson & Owen had prepared lunch by Otis with the chairs nicely set out "under the shade of some coolabah trees". During lunch I bit the inside of my check, so I immediately consulted the best Swiss Doctor (Lina)who suggested suturing and provided much needed sympathy. I was then going to get a second opinion after lunch because I'm sure that's what would have been required, of course any sympathy would have also been greatly appreciated.

However my plans were thwarted when I heard the dropping of metal plates to my left, initially I thought Michael had got a case of the clumsies. That turned out to be incorrect, Esther had taken a drink form her soft drink can when a bee went on a suicide mission and stung her tongue. "Is there a doctor in the house?" Luckily we had the best doctors Switzerland and Germany have ever produced, Medicines sans Frontiers (Eva and Lina) sprung into action and treated Esther. They removed the stinger, iced the patients tongue, the family provided moral support and sympathy, the prognosis was good, Esther was expected to make a full recovery. Whilst I'm saddened by the injury suffered by Esther, she did steal all the medical attention away from me, Esther's like that, she just loves the limelight, I think she got bitten deliberately.

From there we headed to the ostrich farm, the first part was great interesting and entertaining. Lina and Michael got a ostrich massage, very amusing. The ostrich stands behind the punter and is feed from the front, it's neck then "massages" the punter.
However as a group I think we didn't like watching people sitting on the ostriches posing for photos. At the beginning they stated it was too hot for riding ostriches and the maximum weight of the rider was 75Kgs, now the reality was there were more than a few over the weight limit people getting on board the ostrich, which you could clearly see made it's legs buckle.From there it was on to our tented accommodation, the campsite was pretty ordinary, they stuck us right in the back corner by the road and what smelled like a sewage drain. But Esther, Thomas, Michael, Lisa and I put up our tents and headed for the pool. I didn't go in, I could see it was freezing, the funny thing was all the Europeans sun baking whilst I sat in the shade.

Tonight was also the last dinner with Matthew & Bill, the table was set out in the carport of Owen, Rimson and Mika's room, chalet 33.