22nd Of December 2013
Our hotel was a winner, nice comfortable bed great view of Table Mountain from the Roof Top Bar & Restaurant. The breakfast was nice, but we weren't going to be hanging around to savour it, we were getting picked up at 7:30am for the shark dive. It turned out to be a 3 hour drive to Gansbaai, on the way the driver picked up a French couple and an Indian guy. The French couple turned out to be crew for a French airline, but the really cool thing was the French guy looked like Chuck Norris and I really do mean he was the splitting image of Chuck Norris.
We had the obligatory toilet & coffee / tea stop half way, then when we arrived we had 2nd breakfast, coffee / tea and toilet. You never just drive past a toilet or a coffee stop in South Africa, you just don't know when the next one will be.
The usual boat they use was out of action, the term they used was "being serviced" we saw the boat, it was missing some bits the propeller being one of them. So the boat we got was a little smaller, but that was okay as it wasn't a large group.
The trip out to Shark Alley was reasonably quick as they were running 2 x 250 horse power Yamaha engines, they had some get up and go. The other good thing about outboards is that they are not diesel as if I was ever going to be sick diesel exhaust fumes would have done it.
Once we were tied up next to the cage our guide gave us the all clear to get suited up, the wetsuits were a 5mm full suit with hood. Now I have to confess that I like seeing ladies in figure hugging latex body suits, but these neoprene ones just don't do it for me. It's a bit like watching the "mamils" (Middle Aged Men in Lycra) unpleasant at best, down right disturbing most of the time. The cage was some type of metal, I think it was aluminium,with 8 sections. Each diver occupied a section which was determined by a metal bar above each shoulder, the bars were there to help you pull yourself up to the ready position. The cage was secured to the side of the boat but closer to the stern, you entered from the third pod and either made your way left or right, right was towards the back of the boat.
The crew chummed the water and the first eager group got in the water to squeals of "it's cold". It never ceases to amaze me the number of people that can't follow really simple instructions, for example when you got in the cage you had to do 3 things
1: Keep all body parts inside the orange ropes; pretty simple right, wrong...
2: Put you knees on the yellow bar in the cage (the ready position); also pretty simple, wrong again...
3: Keep as still as possible and get under water when told; again pretty simple, wrong again!!!
All these things were for either safety reasons (point 1) or not to scare the shark away (points 2 & 3) who would have thought sharks would be scared but there you go. As it turns out very few people could manage to follow the instructions, maybe it was the brain freeze effect.
Unfortunately three things were against us, it was summer and the water is cooler so the sharks are more docile in colder water (good to know) the other was the visibility was poor, about 2 meters at best, the last was the number of other boats offering "free meals".
Our first sighting at our boat "the Barracuda" was brief, the great white swam casually by only having a cursory look at the twin tuna head bait, eventually the first group got a great view as the shark swam really close by the back end of the cage.
When it was our turn I was the first in and let me say there was no squealing like a girl as parts of my suit filled with the icy cold water from the Southern Ocean, I know you lot don't believe me but its true. Its because, it's like when the human body goes into shock, you fee everything but at the same time are unable to cry out move or do anything use full. Lisa felt the same as she got in straight after me, now by my calculations "the human shield" is suppose to go first. I did get one photo of the occasion, it's the only one taken because "the human shield" was also the official photographer for the day but she neglected that duty for reasons I will explain shortly. Our positions in the cage were the first two pods right at the back of the cage near the stern, "Chuck Norris's" girlfriend was to theft of Lisa and then "Chuck Norris" himself.
After what seemed an eternity a great white cruised by unfortunately we didn't see much from the under water perspective, in fact I'm sure we only had one sighting each. Lisa's was under the cage, mine was swimming from the back of the cage to front.
The guide who was throwing the tuna heads in asked me several times if we saw anything, which for the most we didn't, but as it turns out I did film one Great White swimming past but I didn't know until I looked at the film.
As time went on we just got colder and colder, both Lisa and I started shivering, Lisa more than me. I needed to pee but was so cold I couldn't for a incredibly long time, eventually my wetsuit warmed up... for what I understand so did Lisa's. Having said that it didn't help, I'm sure you've all had a brain freeze from some ice cream or icy cold drink, it was like this in the water but a whole body freeze.
The head guide asked us if we wanted to get out, hell yes if I can get any portion of my body to function was my thought. As the punters started getting out, "Chuck Chunder of the space patrol" arrived now Chuck will tell you she got it on her, however she was facing me, the current was going my way, I got chucked up on...Now I'm not really known for my compassion or sympathy to the sick, injured or dying. (culling the herd / natural selection I say) But on this occasion I was that guy, in a nutshell I was Grant for a very, very brief moment in time. There was no need to hold Chucks hair out of the way the hood did that. Now It could be argued that Chuck was blocking my exit strategy (which was true) but I could have trampled / climbed over her if I really wanted too. Like a true gentleman I took Lisa's weight belt and helped her out from inside the cage, like I've always said once you can fake sincerity, compassion and concern you've got it made.
This was the main reason for the lack of our photos, toughen up princess, that's what I say. We did get some good video from the deck so that was good. Chuck had a chumming session from the wrong side of the boat and once again I did a Grant...
The funniest thing that happened was there was a guy who didn't go in the cage but spent the entire day filling a plastic shopping bag, he was told several times to go on the deck get fresh air, look at the horizon but alas he chose to sit in the cabin and continue filling the shopping bag. I was concerned, not for him but for my gear as he sat next to our stuff.
We were asked if we wanted to go back in, it was a "NO" from Chuck and a yes from me, (anything to get away from Chuck) but Chuck Norris beat me to the cage and lets face it if Chuck Norris wants in who am I to stand in his way. Whilst I watched Chuck Norris climb down into the cage I stood next to the Luckiest girl in the world... Chuck Norris's girlfriend, we watched in awe as the water trembled in fear of Chuck Norris. Now some people could speculate that Chuck Norris was shivering, but I'm not one of them...After watching Chuck Norris make the water tremble I decided not to go for another cage dive, I would have died from hypothermia.
After the dive we headed back for soup and a hot shower, then a long drive back to the hotel, I have to say I missed the drive I slept pretty much the whole way. Lets face it you can sleep when you feel safe and I felt safe because Chuck Norris was there.
My observations of shark cage diving is that its a bit like deep sea fishing, lots of standing around waiting for something to happen, chumming of the water, the fishing lines are replaced by the tuna heads on rope and finally more standing around waiting for something to happen, but when something does happen there is a huge flurry of activity. Also you have a greater chance of dying from hypothermia then from a shark attack in a cage dive, even if you can't follow instructions. Take sea sick tablets, lots of them, if you're prone to sea sickness. Having said that I think it was worth the effort, I'd do it again in a heart beat on the proviso it was in winter, just to see the sharks when they are more active and when the water is warmer...
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